


where the love light gleams

by beetheauxven



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Hand Jobs, Lots of kissing, M/M, Minor Character Death, Uni AU, but its very minor, oh and getting it on under a christmas tree, past zarry, theres angst i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 06:59:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5407361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetheauxven/pseuds/beetheauxven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall looks at Harry, bringing their faces closer as he watches the light reflect in the green of Harry’s eyes and he’s lost it, right then, when Harry blinks slowly and the blood in Niall’s head rushes around like hurricane.</p>
<p>“Can you still read my mind?” Niall asks slowly, bringing his hand up to touch one of Harry’s curls that rests just past his shoulder, bumping a tree branch on the way causing glitter to fall into Harry’s hair. Niall almost laughs at the image of Harry stringing glittery garland around the tree, his hands covered in it, certainly loving it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or, Niall and Harry are broke uni students who couldn't afford to go home for Christmas and end up spending it together in Harry's flat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	where the love light gleams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ICantThinkStraight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICantThinkStraight/gifts).



> Hi! Okay so I hope you like this I kinda took my own spin on it but theres still original aspects to your prompt :) I was largely inspired by a certain scene from the movie It's a Wonderful Life (as you will see) so obviously credit to where it is due. I would like to say a huge thanks to my beta and best friend, thanks for helping me out G, even though I am the absolute worst and decided to finish this during finals week, but thanks for screaming at me, it builds my character (ily). Song title taken from the song I'll Be Home For Christmas.
> 
> I do not own the names or characters in this work and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it :) x

Harry sat in the dim light of his shared flat, curled up on the couch under a lamp and a pile of literature textbooks. This was Harry’s favorite part of the year, when he could sit in the small confines of their living room and watch the snow fall peacefully in sheets around the town, uni students trying desperately to rush in and out of the cold yet still keep their footing on the slick slush.

Liam came whirling in through the door like the snow that fell outside, creating a cool rush of air as he made his way through the flat, flashing Harry a bright smile and rushing into his room.

“Aye! Liam! What’s got you so jolly?” Harry shouted down the corridor from where he sat on the couch with his toes tucked in under his legs, now leaning over his books to try and see down the hall.

After a few moments of manic sounds coming from Liam’s room, Liam came walking back down the short corridor, tartan scarf still a mess around his neck and a bag held in each hand, cheeks flushed red from the cold.

“Prof gave us our exams early. Looks like I get to go home for Christmas already.” He let out a breathy laugh, still obviously winded from his sprint up the three flights of stairs and through his flat. He sets his bags down and leans against the small table that faces the living room, letting his breathing even out. Harry couldn’t help but smile fondly at Liam. The boy has always had such a spirit during the holidays that radiates like the glow of a Christmas tree itself.

Harry looks down, suddenly hit with a pang of jealousy. Not that he’s ecstatic for Liam that he gets to go home and spend Christmas with his whole family in his childhood home, eating a Christmas dinner and drinking rum-spiked eggnog with his cousins, but Harry won’t be getting to do any of that this year.

Liam senses Harry’s mood change and moves over to the counter, fetching two mugs from the cupboard after placing the kettle on the burner. “Still not gonna head on to Holmes Chapel this weekend, then?” Liam asked softly, glancing over at Harry while getting to work on preparing a quick cup of tea for the both of them, God bless him.

“Nah… Looks like Gem’s gonna stay in London and I don’t know if I necessarily want to spend Christmas with Robin, you know?” Harry says gently, now making his way towards the kitchen with his hands buried in his jumper pockets.

Not really wanting to push Harry, Liam busies himself with digging through the cupboard for tea flavors before stopping and giving Harry a sideways glance.

“If it’s the money, Harry, you know I can-”

“It’s not the money, Liam. I’ll be fine here, I promise. Go have fun with your family and please for the love of God, don’t spend your holiday worrying about me. I’m twenty-one… I think I can manage.”

The kettle begins to whistle and Liam moves to take it off the burner. Harry still looks at the floor, lost in his own thoughts of Christmas morning and his mother’s famous puddings and the feeling of warmth that being home for the holidays always brought. His thoughts were interrupted when Liam spins around abruptly, nearly sending tea packages flying as he gasps with wide eyes.

“Harry!”

“Liam!” Harry replies, feigning a just-as-stunned look.

Liam lets out a small laugh and turns back towards the cupboard to continue rummaging through the teas, going on without skipping a beat “I talked to Niall today.”

Harry’s heart immediately sunk to the bottom of his stomach.

“Bear with me. I know you two don’t necessarily have the best record but I-”

“Liam” Harry warned, cutting Liam short.

“Yeah… I know… But listen. I was talking to him in the library today. And he said he’s-” Liam stops and turns back around to face harry, holding two boxes of tea in his hands. “Yorkshire Grey or Holiday Spice?”

“Huh?” Harry stares, startled from being abruptly taken out of the story.

“Tea, Harry. Which tea?”

“Oh.. Uh.. Holiday..?”

Liam takes out two bags and places them in their deserving mugs, continuing his thought. “Anyways I saw him and we got to talking and he told me he’s staying for Christmas too! Maybe you can invite him over and like, I dunno, order some takeaway or summat. It’d be nice to have a mate around, you know?”

“Liam… I just don’t think it would be a good idea to ask the boy whose heart I broke on complete accident over for something like Christmas. I Just-”

“I’m just sayin’ mate. It would do you some good. I know you haven’t gotten much action since you and Zayn-”

“Stop.” Harry holds up his hand in warning as his face falls serious.

Liam nudges the now prepared tea towards Harry almost like an apology and walks away, but not without messing up Harry’s hair first.

“Besides” Liam adds, “I think a night in with a good Christmas movie is a perfect apology. And uh, you know he’s Louis roommate, and all Louis talks about is how lonely Niall seems lately. Reminds me of you, if I’m honest.”

Harry shoots him yet another pointed look.

“You know the saying…” Liam says shrugging his shoulders as he starts to move down the hallway, “Loneliness loves company.”

“It’s _misery_ , Liam!” Harry shouts after him, “ _Misery_ loves company.”

“Same thing!”

Later, Harry helps Liam take his bags down to the cab, letting his tea go cold on the kitchen counter and making sure Liam has a nice fresh bag of cookies for the long train ride home.

******

By the time morning comes around, Harry’s already forgotten the conversation he had with Liam the night before and struggles with waking up and getting himself ready for his 8am lecture without Liam’s aid. The thing is, Liam was always awake long before Harry, tea and toast already made and waiting for him, making sure Harry has all his coursework prepared and ready for the class.

It’s 7:45 and Harry is still jumping around with his jeans unbuttoned, trying to get his boots pulled up when he remembers he still hasn’t printed out his paper that will serve as his final test grade.

Harry was 10 minutes late to class and soaking from the snow that had been left to melt on his coat and boots when he finally arrived. He quietly opens the heavy, wooden door and mouths an apology to his professor, who has already started in on the lecture, before sliding into the only open seat left. Which, just so happens to be the seat behind Niall, causing the conversation with Liam to come flooding back to his memory.

“ _Fuck fuck fuck_.” Harry thinks as he settles into his seat, trying and failing to remain quiet as about half the contents of his rucksack tumble out as he reaches to the bottom for a pen.

Niall turns around slowly in his seat, looking Harry over, letting out a disapproving sigh when a wet strand of hair falls down onto Harry’s face, causing Harry to shiver from the cold shock and the blue eyes that are watching him carefully.

“You look rough.” Niall whispers not all politely, looking down to Harry’s old, leather boots, now drenched in melted snow.

Harry stomach drops again but he proceeds to let out an exaggerated sigh and a quick “Winter’s never really held my finest moments,” causing Niall to let out an un-amused sigh,

After failing to flash Niall a charming smile before he turns back around in his seat, Harry places his cold hands onto his now burning cheeks, realising now more than ever that Liam must be off his rocker to suggest civility between the two of them.

******

By the time the professor has wrapped up his lecture and Harry stands to leave, it has felt like an eternity spent in that uncomfortable chair listening to the boring hum of a posh accent going on about Spanish influences in French culture. Several times Harry had to catch himself from thinking about Niall. The two months they had spent together in a manic flash of twenty year old angst, catching glimpses of the soft skin on the back of his neck or behind his ear, memories of the nights they had spent getting drunk off of sweet-flavored vodka and making out like teenagers flooding back to his mind. It was never Harry’s intention to get attached, Niall was just the new guy who moved in with Louis; it wasn’t ever supposed to be a big deal. Until Niall drunkenly told Louis one night that he thought he was in love with Harry, causing Harry to spin into a downward spiral of detachment and fear. He’d never loved anyone before and that terrified him, so he cut off all ties with Niall and soon found a way to make up for it by way of the mysterious boy in the art department who smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

“Alright now, be sure to place your papers on my desk on the way out, and have a Happy Christmas with your families!” The professor nods, standing by the door, ushering the students out one by one, wishing them all happy holidays.

“You uh... going back to Cheshire for Christmas, Harry?” Niall asks as he slings his backpack over one shoulder and collects his remaining books into his arms.

Harry, taken aback at the attempt of conversation, stares blankly at the other boy before slowly, and very carefully, forming his reply.

“I uh… Don’t think so.. No.” Harry looks down at his boots, and thinks briefly of how they had just dried and are now about to become soaked with yet more melted snow.

“Oh.” Niall replies simply, turning away, knowing the conversation isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“Are you?” Harry spits out, reaching out for Niall’s wrist in attempts to stop him. A little shocked by his own actions, Harry looks down to where he’s holding Niall’s arm in his hand, completely drawing a blank. “Going back to Ireland I mean. Not Cheshire.. Uh.. Ireland”

Niall looks down at where Harry’s hand is still wrapped around his wrist, cold fingers just slightly adding pressure to Niall’s skin.

“No… Not this year, it would seem.”

“Oh.. I’m uh… Sorry to hear that” They both look up as Harry speaks, eyes meeting, causing Harry’s hand to loose its grip around Niall’s wrist.

“Yeah.” Niall’s eyes began to fall a little softer as Harry looks away and out towards the window, turning to walk towards the door, waiting as the few remaining students make their way out.

“Sun’s out. Finally.” Niall huffs.

Before Harry can even think against it, he’s turning towards Niall, his eyebrows surely furrowed as he spits out his words.

“Would you like to spend Christmas with me, Niall?”

Niall stares blankly back at him.

“I just thought that..” Harry stammers on his words, cheeks turning red as tries to make up for his abruptness, not even realising they were now at the door and Niall has turned away from him to shake the professor’s hand and wish him a Happy Christmas.

Embarrassed, Harry gives his professor a quick nod and debates running away right then and there, thinking maybe he could spend his Christmas with the crotchety old lady who lives down the hall from him and Liam and always winks at Harry when no one’s looking.

_No. Bad idea, Harry. Be a man._

But then again, could he really blame Niall for acting the way he does towards Harry? When one night Harry’s tongue is own his throat and then a week later Harry doesn’t even look at him and shows up to a party with Zayn, the boy wearing leather and a cigarette shoved behind his ear? _I should just go,_ he thinks. _Save myself while I can._

“Hello? Harry?”

Harry looks up from his boots, startled . Niall is stood in front of him looking at him as if he’s lost his mind.

“Did you hear me?”

Harry blinks, the crease in his forehead deepening as he looks at Niall in question.

“I said…” Niall starts, rolling his eyes “I’ll spend Christmas with you. Better than being alone, innit?”

“Oh!” Harry perks up, surprising himself. “You sure? I mean, I think I could manage on my own but I mean…. Christmas is a pretty special day.” He ads while his signature smirk subconsciously makes its way to his lips.

Niall laughs as they make their way out of the building and into the cold.

“You really haven’t changed much have you?” It comes out more like a statement then a question and Harry tries to swallow the guilt that creeps back up into his throat.

“You know, Niall. I don’t think we ever really knew each other at all.”

They fall into a comfortable silence as they make their way across the campus, dodging sheets of melting ice with their hands both shoved deeply in their coat pockets. When it comes time for them to part, they both stop, Niall shifting back and forth on his feet.

“I uh.. Still have your number, from before, so you can, like, text me any time you want?” Harry says, not meeting Niall’s gaze.

“Yeah. Same.”

Harry finally looks up from the ground to find Niall carefully looking him over.

“Well… I’ll text you, then!” Harry says stupidly. Too much pressure. Too fast.

Niall giggles and huffs warm air into his hands.

“I’ll be sure to be on stand by.” He replies, still smiling as he turns to head back into the direction of his residence hall.

Harry gives a small wave and starts off towards his flat, letting out an immense amount of air he didn’t realise he was holding. He takes out his phone and sends a text to Liam.

_I really am a social flop. But you’d be proud of me. Hope your family is well. Give Karen a big, wet kiss for me x_

Harry’s phone buzzes in his pocket just a few minutes later.

_More than social, Haz. And this better mean you’ve got a Christmas date._

Another buzz.

_Also my mum says to stop flirting with her. I’ll ring you tonight._

Harry laughs to himself, imagining Liam scurrying around the kitchen as he tastes the cookie batter Karen’s surely got made and ready to be put into the oven, getting a slap on the bum from her spatula, Ruth’s laughter filling the air as she watches her brother with love.

Harry puts his phone back into his pocket and unlocks his flat, falling haphazardly onto the couch, immediately falling asleep.

 

******

“So are you going to tell me what your text from yesterday was all about?” Liam voices from the other side of the phone as Harry crosses the busy street in town, his other hand juggling a few bags of groceries and a steaming black coffee. The sun had set long ago and the streets were lit up with bright Christmas lights, families swarming in and out of the few shops that lined the street as a light dusting of snow started falling once again. Harry looks up at the large sign hanging over the street that reads “2 Days ‘till Christmas!” and can’t help but feel warm despite the frigid bite in the air.

Harry rolls his eyes at the question, ignoring the heat that instinctively flashes across his cheeks as yesterday's interactions with Niall come back to his mind.

“Remember how you told me I should invite Niall over for Christmas? Something about me being lonely and miserable or summat?” Harry says, drawing out his last few words for emphasis.

Liam gasps dramatically on the other line, adding an excited “Go on!”

“Well, I’m not really sure what happened, Liam. I thought you were literally mental for suggesting it but it just shot out of my mouth and now he’s coming over and I don’t even really know what to do.”

Harry tells Liam the whole story as he makes his way home, having to dodge stomping over a grim snowman-crime scene as his mind is focused on remembering the pink that never seems to leave Niall’s cheeks.

He’s back in his kitchen when he finishes, being sure to add dramatic detail so that Liam will feel proud of his _immense bravery_ as Liam calls it.

“Well, I must say, Harry..” Liam starts in, “I am impressed.”

Harry hums in agreement.

“So you gonna give him a good snog, then? Maybe a little _more_ than a snog? Maybe _a lot_ _more_ than a snog?” Liam adds cheekily. Harry can practically see the grin on his face and wants more than anything to slap it off right then.

“Liam!”

“Just sayin’! S’not like you two’ve never done anything like it before!”

“I thought the whole point of this was to _mend_ what happened with that whole situation.”

Liam laughs from the other line before adding “Seems like a good dick sucking would solve a lot of problems, if I’m honest.”

“I’m hanging up on you.” Harry says, laughing as he leans over the kitchen counter and grasping his coffee for extra warmth.

“Good! I have more important things to tend to anyways.” Liam says as he tries to hold back more laughter.

“Actually, I do too, Liam!” Harry says, faking offense.

“Well then hang up.

Harry grins.

“No, _you_ hang up.”

“Absolutely not. No. We are not playing this game.” Liam says quickly before ending the call with a laugh.

After hanging up, Harry goes to work tidying up the kitchen and figuring out what to eat for dinner, which is always a struggle when Liam is gone, when he hears his phone vibrate from across the kitchen.

Harry’s heart jumps to his throat when he sees the name that flashes above the message bar.

_I know you said youd text me first but I got a bit nervous haha. I was wondering when I should come over?_

“Fuck” Harry mumbles, picking his phone up at lightening speed, nearly losing his grip and sending it flying.

Honestly, Harry has no idea why he feels so anxious around Niall. Maybe it’s just purely out of guilt. Maybe it’s the memory he has scorched into his mind of going down on Zayn just a few days after deciding to shut Niall out, looking over Zayn’s shoulder and seeing Niall stumble drunkenly into the room to find Harry on his knees, mouth wet, in front of a different boy. His eyes staring blankly at Harry until he turned and slammed the door without saying a word. Which was, now that Harry thinks about it, the last time Niall had even looked at him until a few days ago. But now all Harry can think about is Niall’s thick Irish accent, the way his mouth moves when he talks, the way his mouth used to move against Harry’s.

Harry shakes his head, turning his focus back to where his fingers are typing out their reply.

_How’s 7 sound? Tomorrow night, yeah? :)_

He sends it and immediately begins typing again.

_Oh and Happy Christmas Eve Eve x_

******  
Morning sneaks up on Harry, as it does when the sky is dark and threatening another downpour of snow and ice. He wakes up in a panic, suddenly realising how bare the house looks. He calls Liam, who is miserably hungover and obviously not in the mood to deal with the situation, and he tells Harry there’s a fake tree shoved somewhere in the cramped closet across from the bathroom.

“I don’t know what to _do_ , Liam. What if it’s awkward? We’ve never really like… sat and talked before…” Harry speaks into the direction of his phone, set next to him on the floor on speaker.

Harry busies himself with detangling the ancient lights, shocking himself countless times where the rubber has worn away around the wire. He tries to ignore the fire hazard this will surely bring, but God knows he can’t afford to go out and buy a new string of lights.

“Well,” Liam sighs on the other side “‘s not my fault the two of you only ever spent time with your tongues inside each others mouths and not actually ever talking .”

“Liam.” Harry warns.

“I promise it will be fine. I know Niall. He’s a real easy going guy. It won’t be awkward.”

“I’ll hold you to it.”

Harry hangs up and goes back to work on stringing the lights on the tree, stepping back to admire his work when he finishes. The lights, being as ancient and hazardous as they are, really do look beautiful lighting up the small living room. It makes Harry feel undoubtedly warm so he snaps a picture and sends it to Liam.

******

Six o’clock comes around and Harry finds himself still throwing up little decorations around the flat. Some colorful lights around the bookshelf that holds all his ancient literature books, a snowglobe and an old ceramic Santa he found in the back of Liam’s closet now sit in the Window looking out at the dark clouds, and because Harry enjoys being on just the right side of extra, he hangs some pre-lit garland on the kitchen island.

Harry checks the time and immediately becomes panicked again, thinking now of what the hell they’re going to eat and drink for the next how many hours they’re together. So he grabs his key, latching it to his belt loop on his skin tight jeans, and practically runs back down to the shops.

Sprinting around the shop frantically, Harry tries to measure what all he can buy with the £12 he has sitting in his wallet. He settles, defeatedly, on a carton of eggnog and a cheap bottle of Tesco’s brandy. At least the alcohol will keep them warm and the conversation light, he thinks as he spends all but 3p at the checkout counter, hurrying back home.

He huffs his way up the four flights of stairs, nearly dropping his bags right then and there when he sees a mess of blond hair sitting outside his flat’s door, looking down at his phone.

Harry stops shortly before picking his pace up again, stopping at the boy's feet and looking down at him in question.

“Niall?”

Niall’s head snaps up in surprise, cheeks instantly flushing even more than their constant pink tint.

“Harry!” Niall says, getting up. “I didn’t hear ya, I uh-”

“Am I late?” Harry cuts him off, putting his key in the door, trying to work the moody lock with a few harsh turns and jiggles before finally getting it open, turning back to Niall.

Niall looks down at his feet before answering.

“No! No you’re not late. I’m just a little early and I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind. I uh, didn’t know you’d be gone.”

Harry waves his hand between them as if attempting to wave away the tension as he shakes his head and furrows his eyebrows. “No no, it’s fine. You’re fine. I just popped down to the shops for a few minutes.” He looks down to the plastic bag in his hand. “I uh… Hope you like eggnog? I got some brandy to spike it with if you’re into that.”

Niall laughs, the mood instantly becoming lighter as he holds up the bottle of red wine Harry hadn’t noticed he was carrying.

“It’s been sat on our counter for some time now. Probably cheap and left over from some date Louis fell through on but I figured, wine is wine right?”

“Hmm. Wine to settle in with and brandy to keep us warm. I like the way we think, Horan.” Harry says, grinning just so his dimple appears around his mouth.

Harry takes the bottle and stand out of way of the door, ushering Niall in and following after him. It’s comfortable, Harry thinks as he watches Niall take his wool coat off and set it on the table. Niall turns back around and gives Harry a small smile.

“Festive.” Niall says, gesturing at the lights and the tree crammed up next to the couch and the wall.

“Ah,” Harry says, nodding in achievement, “Thought since we’ll both be stuck here on Christmas we might as well make it… Christmassy.”

Niall laughs brightly, causing Harry’s smile to explode and warmth erupt in his chest. They fall into a comfortable mood, light and on just the right side of playful as Harry keeps his voice just flirty enough to make the warmth on Niall’s cheeks linger a little longer but not too much as to make the mood awkward. Harry moves into the kitchen, eyeing the bottles now sat on the counter before picking up the wine and holding it just slightly above eye level between the two of them.

“Shall we commence this lovely, miserably cold Christmas Eve with this fine bottle of wine, Niall?” Harry says, his mouth in a playful smirk.

“I think that’s a grand idea, Harold.” Niall says, moving forward into the small kitchen.

Harry’s cheeks flush at the nickname. _Harold_. He repeats it in his mind as he fishes out two wine glasses from the cupboard. It’s a nickname he’s never really been fond of really, seeing how his name _isn’t actually_ Harold. But it’s one that has always been used regardless. Liam knows to use it when he wants to make Harry laugh and Gemma seems to use it when Harry’s just told her something juicy, throwing her hands up to her mouth and drawing the name out in almost a whisper.

_Harold._

“You know, I think about half the people that know me don’t realise my name isn’t actually Harold.” Harry says it more like a question as he pours the drink into the glass, staring at the way the liquid moves around itself, the smell of cheap wine lingering up to his nose. He sniffs just slightly, taking it in. Harry’s always enjoyed the smell of cheap wine, the gentleness of it bringing back memories of his mum meeting Harry’s father at the door when he would come home from work, bringing home a bottle to share with his wife once a week. And later that night their quiet voices would drift up to Harry and Gemma’s split room after dinner when they were supposed to be sleeping, Harry always slipping out to sit at the corner of the hallway where he could quietly watch them at the dinner table, sipping their wine and talking, laughing, loving each other.

Harry almost misses it, too lost in the liquid in the cup in front of him, when Niall talks.

“I know you’re name isn’t Harold.”

Harry swallows before he turns around to face him, handing him a glass and bringing his own up to his mouth, catching the cracks on the skin around Niall’s knuckles, undoubtedly from the cold wind.

“To Christmas.” Niall says, before taking a sip.

“To Christmas.” Harry nods, grinning.

******

It wasn’t long before Harry and Niall were sat facing each other on the couch, the almost empty bottle of wine between them, leaning against the back of the couch hazardously as Niall laughed at one of Harry’s jokes.

“Favorite Christmas movie. Go!” Niall says, all the words blending together as he drains what’s left of his glass. The two of them feeling perfectly wine-buzzed and warm as they watch the clouds build thicker outside the window.

“Ummmmmm….”

“Today, Harry.”

Harry laughs, his dimples flashing brightly across his face.

“Okay okay. I’ve got it!” Harry says, holding up his index finger as if he’s just had a great thought.

Niall gives him a look as if to say well then what is it.

“ _It’s a Wonderful Life._ ” Harry says, nodding his head confidently.

“Never seen it.” Niall states, adding a hmph for good measure.

Harry slaps his hand to his chest in bewilderment, as if Niall had just told him he’s not even Irish.

“I honestly don’t know what to say.” Harry says, dramatically slow, staring at Niall.

Niall shrugs his shoulders and laughs at Harry’s unnecessary offense and reaches for the bottle, only to meet Harry’s hand in the middle, pulling his own back quickly as if Harry held an electric current that was surely going to kill him, his cheeks going warm.

“Ah!” Harry says, snatching the bottle, not noticing the red in Niall’s face, “And wine... That joy and prosperity may reign forever!”

They both laugh at Harry’s awful attempt at a 1940s American accent as he splits the last of the bottle between their two glasses.

“And because you’ve never _seen_ the film, I’ll tell you that’s one of the best quotes right there.” Harry says, setting the empty bottle on the ground besides the couch.

“Let’s watch it then! Show me why it’s so great. If it’s any better than _Elf_ , I’ll be hugely surprised.”

Harry’s mouth drops again, dramatically.

“You can not simply compare _It’s a Wonderful Life_ with a movie such as _Elf_ , Niall. Those are two different worlds of genius that must never be pit against each other.”

Harry was already up and walking a little slowly towards the box under the telly, running his finger along the titles of the DVDs until landing on the one he was looking for with a picture of a happy family hugging in the snow.

“Got it!” Harry says, huffing as he stands from his crouching position, swaying slightly on his feet. He gets it in the player and plops back down on the couch, landing much closer to Niall than he was before when the bottle of wine was a barrier between them. Neither of them seem to notice, or care really, as Harry whistles along with the music playing on the menu screen.

*****

Niall watches Harry wait for the first few bars of music to pass before pressing play, Harry’s smile already growing as he brushes his hair back from his face, touching the end of the curls before dropping his hand and looking at Niall and quickly looking back at the screen.

“It’s starting!”

“I see that.” Niall says, laughing at Harry as his eyes crinkle. If anyone else were in the room they’d be shaking their heads at the way they look at each other when the other isn’t looking. They’re like fucking six year olds who have developed their first crush, which is ironic given their past.

The movie starts to play, Harry crossing his legs underneath him and leaning forward on his elbows. Niall spends the first thirty minutes less watching the film and more watching Harry, who is staring at the TV like a little boy watching his favorite cartoon, mouthing along to some of the lines. Still feeling the half bottle of wine he consumed, Niall wonders if Harry watches this movie with his family every year, sat on the couch just like this and is hit with a nostalgia for Harry’s family. A family that he doesn’t even know.

“Harry, why didn’t you go hom-”

“Shhhh! This is the best part.” Harry cuts him off, waving his hand to silence him.

Frowning slightly, Niall looks back at the film as the young boy and the girl, who Niall hasn’t really caught the names of yet, are walking along the sidewalk singing. Harry hums along softly and smiles quickly at Niall before turning back to the tv.

_Buffalo girls won’t you come out tonight, come out tonight, come out tonight and dance by the light of the moon._

Niall watches the two teenagers flirt on the screen, and even if he won’t admit it, he’s taken aback by how sweetly they talk to each other. He wonders what it would have been like if he had met Harry in a different time. Surely they wouldn’t have met each other by hooking up at a uni party and creating bad habits surrounded around their mouths and the taste of liquor, not remembering half of it when they woke up in the morning. He thinks he’d like to go on a walk with Harry, hold his hand, know if he has any siblings, never do the things they did before.

“What is it that you want, Mary?” Harry says, still staring right at the screen, his hands clasped in front of his face.

Niall looks at him, confused, before he hears the young boy on the screen repeat after Harry word for word.

_What is it that you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon?_

Niall’s eyes dart between the screen and Harry, who is still mouthing the words, hitting the pauses at the right time, saying every word, without ever skipping a beat, like a poem he’s had memorised for years.

_Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down._

He watches as Harry’s eyes fall softer.

_Hey that’s a pretty good idea… I’ll give you the moon, Mary. Then you could swallow it, and it will all dissolve, you see? And the moonbeams will shoot out of your fingers, and your toes, and the ends of your hair._

A warmth erupts in Niall’s stomach. Maybe it’s the romantic words that are now playing in his head, maybe it’s the way Harry is still staring at the screen with a look of longing, and surely it has something to do with the wine stirring his heart up, but Niall has to fight himself from grabbing Harry’s face and kissing him right there on his couch.

Harry looks at Niall, the scene continuing as Niall feels his face warm. If it wasn’t obvious that he was staring at Harry before, he surely knows now. Leaning in closer, his eyes still soft, Harry looks down at Niall’s lips just briefly before coming to meet his eyes, placing his hand on Niall’s wrist.

“That is my favorite scene from any movie,” Harry states, slowly and a little slurred. “Ever. Like... in the world.”

Niall can feel the warmth of Harry’s hand resting on his wrist, just as it had felt a few days ago when they stood awkwardly in the classroom, Harry asking him over. It feels different from any other time they have touched, and it’s so blaringly obvious that Niall laughs. He just lets out a short, muffled laugh and shakes his head slightly at Harry.

Still leaning close, Harry furrows his eyebrows, eyeing Niall carefully.

“What. Why are you laughing?” Harry says slowly.

Niall looks back down at his wrist, realising for the first time that Harry has a tattoo of a cross between his thumb and pointer finger. He wonders if it’s new or if he was always just too far gone to ever notice it.

Probably better not to ask.

“Harry.”

“Mmmhmm.” Harry replies, his voice low.

“Why didn’t you go home for Christmas?”

Harry’s gaze drops. Now he’s the one eyeing his hand on Niall’s wrist, his face falling into a slight frown. Niall wonders if he’s having the same thoughts that he had; how the touch feels warm, comfortable, nothing like what it used to feel like when his hands were cold, rushed and meaningless.

“Didn’t know if I wanted to go home, if I’m honest.” Harry says, not meeting Niall’s eyes.

There’s a silence when Niall doesn’t know what to say. He almost goes back to watching the film when Harry speaks up again.

“My mum passed away a year and a half ago.”

Harry never looks up or moves his hand and Niall feels the heat under it more than ever now as he processes what Harry has just told him.

“I’m so sorry, Harry.” Niall says and wants to punch himself for saying it. _How does that help,_ he thinks and _why would he care that I’m sorry._

Harry leans his head back on the couch, his hair falling away from his face so that Niall has a clear view of his profile as he continues speaking.

“It was sudden and fast, you know? One of those freak accident things. My sister didn’t handle it well. And my stepdad… He’s not the best to be around, especially now after it’s happened.”

Niall feels pressure building behind his eyes. He looks away from Harry and back to the TV, where a daughter is sitting on her father’s lap, watching the mother decorate a Christmas tree. He wants to shut the TV off, break the DVD, let Harry know that it’s okay to grieve over something like this.

“Even if I did have the money to go home, or wherever that even is now, I don’t think I would have.” Harry takes a deep breath. “It’s just not the same without her, you know?”

“I don’t know.” Niall turns his wrist so that his fingers slot with Harry’s. “But I can only imagine how hard that must be.”

Harry looks over to Niall, smiling softly before looking down at their hands.

“Your skin is cracked. Right there on the knuckles.” Harry says, tracing his thumb across the broken skin.

They sit like that until the credits roll. Until the warmth of their hands almost burns between them. Until Harry stands from his place on the couch and stretches lazily.

“Time for the Brandy?” Harry says, muffling a yawn and shaking out his hair with his fingers.

“Could use a glass, I think.” Niall stands up from the couch, following Harry through the few steps it takes to get to the kitchen and leans over the counter so he can watch as Harry gets the drinks prepared.

The wine buzz is nearly gone already but Niall still feels his head swim every time he looks at Harry. Niall’s eyes roam over him, taking in the way his hair falls from behind his ear and into his face as he pours the drinks, the small movement of the muscles in his hands, and oh, Niall’s breath hitches as his eyes drift up to Harry’s mouth, the soft pout his lips are creating.

“You’re staring.” Harry says quietly.

Niall snaps his eyes up to meet Harry’s, he has an amused grin playing on his mouth as he pours the eggnog into his glass of Brandy and slowly brings it up to his lips to take a drink.

Surprised, Niall doesn’t say anything. He keeps his eyes on Harry as the knot in his stomach grows tighter and tighter.

Harry steps closer, setting his glass on the counter between them before cupping his hand on the base of Niall’s neck and leaning in slowly until their breaths are swirling together into the air between them.

Just as Niall thinks Harry’s lips are going to meet his, Harry speaks.

“Why didn’t _you_ go home for Christmas?”

Niall lets out a breath, Harry’s face still so close that he can smell the sweetness of the eggnog on his lips, not being able to help as his eyes flick down to them and his knees all but nearly give out as he takes in the way the drink has made them glossy and pink and so so pretty.

“‘s expensive to travel to Ireland.” Niall says simply, his breath heavy as he feels Harry’s hand slide down slightly on his neck.

“Hmm. I’m very sorry.”

Harry licks his lips as he leans in, making Niall melt just slightly under his touch before he finally presses into Niall’s mouth with a gentle force that makes him dizzy, their mouths moving together like a dance, the dance they used to perform every weekend, but somehow better, somehow real. A strand of Harry’s hair falls from behind his ear and brushes just lightly against Niall’s cheek, causing him to shiver and he wants to tuck it back and reprimand it for interrupting their moment when Harry slides his tongue over Niall’s bottom lip and he loses his train of thought.

Harry’s hand falls completely and Niall pulls away from the kiss, still looking at Harry’s mouth and he swears his lips are so shiny that just for a second he can see the lights from the Christmas tree reflecting off them before he speaks.

“Never really liked the taste of eggnog, if I’m honest.” Niall says, trying not to let his smile show.

Harry laughs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand dramatically like a child trying desperately to rid himself of a bad taste.

“What if I said I know you’re lying?” Harry speaks, face still inches from Niall’s.

“You trying to tell me you’re a mind reader, Harry?”

Harry chuckles, putting on a face as if to say _you guessed it, go on, try me._

“What am I thinking then?” Niall says, eyeing Harry carefully.

“ _Kiss me._ ”

Niall laughs but can’t help the blush that is rising to his cheeks, his hands becoming fidgety.

“There it is again. _Kiss me. Kiss me._ ” Harry teases.

Harry’s eyes move back down to Niall’s mouth.

“Am I right?” Harry asks.

Before Niall could answer, Harry’s already grabbed the Brandy and headed off back toward the couch, plopping down right in the middle, patting the spot next to him as Niall slowly makes his way over, still lost in the kiss that had happened just minutes ago.

“We’ll save that for another time. Drink?” Harry offers over the other glass, mixed with what Niall knows is more alcohol than eggnog.

******

Thirty minutes had passed and Niall had insisted they put on Elf, both already feeling the lightness of the alcohol. They decided after the first drink to forgo the eggnog because really, _Harry, I actually don’t like the taste of eggnog._

“Shhhh shhhhhshhhh this is the best part!” Harry waves his hand in Niall’s face, nearly sending the drink spewing across both of their laps.

“You sit on a throne of lies!” Will Ferrell’s voice sounds into the room, causing them both to start laughing, leaning into each other as if they weren’t already practically sitting on top of the other. Harry’s grin is messy as he laughs at the screen, the kind of laugh that makes his body shake because he’s trying to hold it in, and Niall shifts under the weight of Harry’s arm on his chest as he takes a sloppy drink.

“ _He’s a fake! He’s a fake!_ ” Niall opens his mouth to scream in horror to match the kids in the movie and Harry actually leans forward to slap his knee in hysterical laughter as the Santa gets tackled to the ground. “ _He’s not Santa Claus!_ ” They both shout it in sync with Will Ferrell, Niall’s eyes watering up with laughter as Harry is practically doubled over the couch holding his stomach.

Just as Niall is about to warn Harry that he’s getting close to the edge, Harry slides off the seat of the couch, holding the bottle above his head as he lands with a thud on the old hardwood floors, sending Niall into absolute fits of laughter as ornaments from the Christmas tree fall around Harry.

“Take it, take it! Save the alcohol! Man overboard!” Harry slurs from his position on the floor, waving the last bit of Brandy around in the air like a signal flare.

Niall tries to stand and falls back into the couch, laying longways so he can reach the bottle, taking it and drinking the last bit before dropping it back on the floor with a thud.

They both lay in their positions, coming down from their fits of laughter and wiping the tears from their eyes when Harry goes still.

“Niall,” Harry says, his hands up in the air as if he’s holding a camera and taking a picture,  
“come join me. You should really see how beautiful the tree looks from this angle.”

Niall gets out his last few giggles before slowly sliding from his position on the couch, and wiggling his way over to Harry, who scoots further under the tree.

They stay there for a while and Niall wonders how strange it must look, two boys lying under a Christmas tree, not saying a word, but the Brandy has spread enough warmth through his body to make him not care as he slides in closer to Harry’s side.

“Tell me about your family,” Harry says, turning on his side to get a better look at Niall, “Like your holiday traditions and whatever.”

Niall thinks, the alcohol clouding his mind just enough that he really has to dig through his thoughts to find those memories. “Well..” He starts, “Every year my Ma makes this bread on Christmas Eve and it has like, raisins and almonds and cinnamon in it but the real kicker is the two types of whisky she puts in the batter.”

“Oh, to be Irish.” Harry says, his head propped up on his hand, looking at Niall in a way that causes Niall’s stomach to flip.

Niall continues, laughing as his memories come back through the alcohol, “We’d always try to make it a family affair, to decorate the tree together, but me and Greg would always fight and Ma would make us sit and watch a Christmas movie instead.”

“Greg?” Harry asks, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Yeah, my brother. He’s married now though, even got a kid! We have a love/hate relationship kinda.”

Harry _hmphs_ at the new information.

“Didn’t know you have a brother. Guess I always thought you were an only child.”

“Didn’t know you have a sister.” Niall adds, looking up through the tree again, noticing how the lights sparkle against the glass ornaments. “Guess you were right, we don’t know each other.”

Harry continues to look down at Niall, his face just inches away but somehow it’s not awkward or intimidating. “I think we do now, though.” He says.

Niall looks at Harry, bringing their faces closer as he watches the light reflect in the green of Harry’s eyes and he’s lost it, right then, when Harry blinks slowly and the blood in Niall’s head rushes around like hurricane.

“Can you still read my mind?” Niall asks slowly, bringing his hand up to touch one of Harry’s curls that rests just past his shoulder, bumping a tree branch on the way causing glitter to fall into Harry’s hair. Niall almost laughs at the image of Harry stringing glittery garland around the tree, his hands covered in it, certainly loving it.

“Sure can. You’ve been thinking the same thing for the past…” Harry looks to the clock on the wall, “three hours.”

“Oh, I have?” Niall says, dropping his hand.

“ _Kiss me._ ” Harry says, as he moves closer, their lips almost brushing as he speaks again.

“ _Kiss me_.” He places an arm around Niall so that he can push up and climb to straddle his waist, keeping low due to the tree above them.

“ _Kiss me._ ” Their lips finally meet, sending a fire through Niall as Harry moves back slightly, causing their dicks to grind just the smallest amount. Harry bites gently on Niall’s bottom lip, his tongue sliding in as Niall opens his mouth wider. Harry’s mouth is hot and wet and _god his tongue is so smooth_ and Niall realises that maybe it wasn’t the liquor or the lights that made him warm, it was Harry, and his ridiculous curls and his gentle eyes that carry a fire of their own.

“Harry-”

“Shh.” Harry moves his mouth so it brushes against Niall’s ear, his hands finding their way to the bottom of Niall’s sweater, lifting it up slightly as his hands roam the smooth skin above the waistline of his jeans. Harry puts his mouth back on Niall’s and shifts his hips again, causing Niall to moan into the kiss.

Harry giggles, pulling away just slightly, his head knocking a few branches and causing glitter to fall around his shoulders, onto Niall’s face. Niall frowns, bringing a hand up to wipe it away. Finding amusement in it, Harry starts to shake his head back and forth quickly like a child, his hair flying about wildly as the garland rains glitter all around them. Harry’s laugh cackles as Niall groans in frustration just shortly before letting out a laugh to match Harry’s, shutting his eyes so that the glitter doesn't fall into them.

Niall feels Harry still above just before he feels the light weight of his lips press quickly to his eyelids. “Sorry,” Harry says, his eyes going soft again, “I think I just really missed kissing you. Feels different now. Better.”

Niall brings his hand up to the back of Harry’s neck and pulls him down just enough to meet his lips, his other hand pulling softly at the back of Harry’s shirt, tugging it up enough that Harry gets the idea.

Detaching the kiss, Harry pulls his shirt up over his head and tosses it so it lands on top of the empty bottle of Brandy. Niall shamelessly scans over what he can see of Harry’s torso.

“Forgot you had so many of these.” Niall says, his hand moving up to touch the butterfly that sits just above Harry’s stomach.

“Got a few more since the last time we…” Harry huffs a little, “did this.”

“I see that.” Niall adds, his hand moving lower to run over the button on Harry’s jeans, his body so warm that Niall thinks he’d be happy to just sit like this for the rest of the night, taking Harry in, when Harry shifts his hips again, causing more friction against Niall’s already half-hard dick. Harry looks at him, as if he’s begging him to unzip his pants and suck him dry right in that second when he moves his hips again, this time in a circular motion, causing Niall to literally _moan_ at the feeling, moving his hips up just slightly to try and chase the feeling.

Before he could even take another breath, Niall has his hand down the front of Harry’s pants, Harry moving awkwardly to try and get them off over his hips while under the tree. He eventually succeeds, his hand going immediately to the zip of Niall’s pants as he bites his neck just hard enough to leave a mark.

Niall gasps onto Harry’s cheek when he eventually feels Harry’s hand wrap around him, placing his own hand on Harry’s as he moves it up and down slowly at first but quickly picking up speed. Harry moves up just slightly, reattaching their lips as Niall grabs Harry’s dick to place next to his so they can move against each other, their hands now pumping around the both of them. Harry’s hair falls over his face, lightly touching Niall’s cheek as they both begin to come undone. Moving his hand so that it’s on top of Niall’s, Harry squeezes just slightly as they pick up the pace, his breathing now becoming heavier as his hand pumps faster and faster.

Niall comes first, just a few seconds before Harry, stroking him through the comedown and moving his hair away from his face. Leaning down, Harry places a soft kiss to Niall’s lips and drops his hand, falling to the side of Niall as his other arm gives out.

Stretching out his arm, Niall reaches for Harry’s discarded shirt to clean them up with. “It’s snowing again.” Niall says, placing a kiss on Harry’s warm cheek, right where a speck of gold glitter sat stuck to the slight perspiration that had formed.

“I don’t think I would have ever noticed.” Harry turns to look at Niall, yawning into the last words, the both of them suddenly realising it was well past 2 am before falling asleep right there under the tree.

******

“Psssssst….”

Niall groans in confusion, looking around from his position on the floor and noticing the snow still falling, although slower now than it was last night.

“Happy Christmas.” Niall’s confusion instantly wears off when he hears Harry’s quiet voice sound from next to him, instinctively moving to nuzzle into the warmth of Harry’s side since Harry managed to grab a blanket before they fully fell asleep but ended up completely hogging it at some point.

“Mmm” Niall hums in agreement, watching as Harry rubs his sleep-ridden eyes. “Happy Christmas.”

For a moment they stay nestled there, Harry’s arm draped over Niall’s chest as they wake up, until Harry’s phone buzzes from its spot on the couch.

“Shit” Harry murmurs, moving to crawl over Niall, albeit awkwardly but with some grace. “Probably Gemma,” he murmurs as he makes his way over to the couch, throwing his hair up in a sloppy bun on the way.

Harry’s shirt and pants are still on the floor beside Niall and Niall can’t help but watch as Harry moves. His hips swinging in such a way that makes his back seem a mile long and the dip in his spine seem so smooth that Niall has flashes of last night’s memories shock through his brain, causing him to feel restless and warm even through the cold bite to the room.

“Gemmers! Happy Christmas, my lovely sister, nice weather innit…” Harry’s voice fades as he takes the call down the hall and into what Niall assumes is his bedroom, hearing only faint sounds of sleepy laughter as he pictures Gemma on the other line waving her hands about like Harry does, telling some exciting story about Christmas lights and flatmates and festive parties. Niall puts his jeans back on, not bothering with his shirt right now (it should probably be washed anyways) and moves around nervously. Niall takes the opportunity to clean up a bit, moving the empty bottles to the kitchen and folding the few blankets, placing them on the couch and debates falling into them and going right back to sleep, never wanting to move from this flat, from this room, from the earthy smell of Harry’s skin that clings to the blankets and now Niall’s hands, as he brings them up to rub at his face.

It’s then that Harry comes back in the room, laughing at something his sister is saying on the other line. He’s put on another pair of skintight jeans and a black jumper with some sort of logo on the sleeve, and tosses a sweater at Niall, giving his body a lazy once over before chuckling back into the phone and sitting back on the armrest of the sofa. Harry watches Niall as he slips the jumper onto his body, hanging on just the right side of loose.

Still on the phone, Harry moves so that he’s standing face to face with Niall, pulling him in just slightly so that Niall can hear the nonstop chirp of Gemma’s voice coming through. They chuckle quietly as Harry rolls his eyes animatedly, leaning in to place a kiss on Niall’s cheek, then his jaw, his neck and finally a short kiss on Niall’s mouth.

“Harry, are you listening?!”

Harry pulls back laughing into a dramatic sigh, “Yes Gem, but I must be honest you’ve not got my full attention right now.”

Niall’s cheeks go hot as he looks at Harry with wide eyes, Gemma’s voice laughing brightly over the phone. “Right, right, get back to your boy, you silly romantic!”

“I will, for sure.” Harry says, biting his lip as he looks over Niall’s face. “Give Olivia a good kiss for me.”

“She doesn’t like you… But I will.”

“Alright,” Harry laughs, “Love ya Gem, miss you, I’ll call you later, yeah.”

“Yeah! Love you too little bro. Happy Christmas!”

Harry slides his phone back into his pocket and pulls Niall in for another kiss, a smirk already playing on his lips. “Don’t get jealous, Olivia is a cat.”

Niall laughs into the kiss, pulling back to look at Harry. He thinks about cracking a joke like _as long as you’re not talking about a boy named Zayn I think we’re good but decides against it, kissing him quickly._

“‘m hungry.” Harry says slowly and Niall almost sighs in relief; his stomach has been making noises ever since he woke up.

“About fucking time.” Niall says, his voice still shaky from sleep and the kissing.

******

They spend the morning eating pancakes (the fluffy kind because that’s Harry’s _specialty_ but really he just put too much flour in the mix) and drinking coffee. “Favorite Christmas present, go!” Harry says over a mouth full of pancakes and sticky syrup.

“My first guitar. When I was ten. Hands down best present.”

“Ah,” Harry says, “Didn’t know you played. You’ll have to serenade me sometime.” He offers up a cheeky grin, which Niall would typically melt over if it weren’t for the slice of pancake that slide off Harry’s fork, plopping back down into the syrup.

Niall laughs, swallowing a bit of his own before asking Harry. “And yours?”

“Well..” Harry starts, his cheeks going red, “It might sound stupid but my favorite Christmas present was a pair of batman roller skates I got when I was seven.”

Niall raises his eyebrow at Harry in question. “Batman? Really…”

“I know I know…” Harry pauses, waving his fork in the air, “But listen, I had _dreams_ Niall. I was going to be the first seven year old in all of Great Britain to join the roller derby.” Niall nearly spits out his mouthful of pancakes because he’s laughing so hard, wiping his eyes as Harry pouts and chuckles along somehow.

“Dream crusher….” Harry mumbles under his breath once they compose themselves, only sending Niall into more fits of laughter.

******

The clock had shown nine by the time the snow had settled, Harry and Niall spending all day curled up on the couch sipping tea and talking about past Christmases, most of their story sending them into hysterics, leaning into each other gasping for air around their laughter.

“Well,” Niall says, reluctantly, although his eyes were getting heavier and heavier with sleep, “I better get home. ‘S gettin’ late and I gotta make sure the room hasn’t burned down or anything.”

Harry pouts, making Niall want to lean forward and kiss him, but instead he rises from his spot on the couch and stands to stretch, Harry mirroring him just a few seconds later.

“It alright if I walk you?” Harry says, shaking out his curls after stretching fully towards the ceiling.

Niall’s heart jumps, smiling as he nods. “I’d love that.”

Harry grabs their coats and heads out the door, reaching for Niall’s hand and holding on tightly.

They walk in silence until they are close to Niall’s residence hall, Harry stopping them abruptly and turning so that he is fully looking at Niall’s face.

“I think we need to talk about it.”

Niall’s heart immediately drops to the pit of his stomach. He doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t even want to ask ask what it is Harry wants to talk about because God, does he know but instead he just nods his head, furrowing his eyebrows as if to say _go on, just get it out there now._

Harry pauses, rubbing his hands over his face. “I just… I know I shouldn't have done what I did. Last year, I mean. I wasn’t really in a good place to-”

 “Harry.”

“No let me finish. I knew what it would do to you when I showed up with Zayn. I knew it would scare you away. I just didn’t know it would hurt you.”

“Harry it-”

“Niall, please just let me talk.” Harry’s voice raises just a little and Niall steps back, looking Harry over carefully. “I’d never been in love. It scared me. I liked you and I liked the fun we had but my mum had just died and I didn’t want anything more than a few fun nights with no responsibilities because I was a confused kid and I was angry at the world.” Niall flinches at the way Harry just so blatantly laid it out, no holding back, no time for pausing or thinking. “And I saw you that night... When you were so drunk you could hardly walk and you stumbled into that room and _you_ saw _me_. And I know you remember. Because I remember. I remember the look on your face when I was on my knees in front of him, it was enough to make me stop. To want to run out and grab you but you were gone. And it’s haunted me ever since. It tears me apart, Niall.”

Niall looks at him, feels the sting behind his eyes as he remembers the way it felt to fall in love with Harry. How it felt to have his heart splintered by him just a few days later. He doesn’t say a word. He just looks at Harry and wants to cry, wants to hit him and kiss him at the same time.

“Please say something now.” Harry says with a shaking voice, looking down at their feet.

Niall can’t even think straight, much less form words. A long silence sits between them like an ocean without waves and Niall is swimming in it, trying desperately to find Harry on the shore. That Harry was another person. And Niall knows that.

“Niall.”

Niall’s eyes move down to where Harry’s hands are wringing nervously, his fingers subconsciously pulling at the ring he wears on his middle finger. Niall is about to open his mouth to speak when Harry steps forward and pulls him in closer. “What is it you want, Niall?”

“Wha-”

 “You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.” Harry’s mouth is so close to Niall’s that Niall can feel the warmth of his breath against his lips. “Hey that’s a pretty good idea… I’ll give you the moon, Niall.” Niall catches on, remembering the scene from _It’s A Wonderful Life,_ when Harry beamed at the screen and mouthed along to every word. “Then you could swallow it, and it will all dissolve, you see? And the moonbeams will shoot out of your fingers,” Harry catches Niall’s hand, intertwining their fingers, “and your toes, and the ends of your hair.” Harry moves his hand to the back of Niall’s neck and lightly runs his fingers through the hair there.

Niall looks at Harry, his lungs tight and begging for air just as he reaches the surface and finally, he sees Harry.

“I forgave you a long time ago, Harry.” Niall finally says.

Harry lets out a shaky sigh and pulls Niall in, his hands warm against Niall’s back.

“I don’t think you have to read my mind anymore.” Niall says, almost like a whisper, against Harry’s ear and Harry pulls back, licking his lips before nodding. He leans in to kiss Niall, the air around them only getting colder, causing them to shiver.

“Happy Christmas” Niall says first, detaching their lips.

“Happy Christmas” Harry says back, his lips red against the snowy background as Niall leads them to the door of his building, his hand resting in Harry’s. And for the first time since knowing Harry, Niall knew it was real.


End file.
